He knew that Lennon’s personality fit best as the first little rascal of our family…

that Ellington is perfectly made to be number 2.

Sometimes ok a lot of times I feel guilty.

guilty I don’t have the time to sit and stare at my baby all day long.

Guilty that my 2 year old has to entertain himself a lot of the day while I nurse.

guilty that I am not as excited for the little firsts as I feel I was with Lennon.

guilty that I have to spilt my time.

guilty cause I never feel I spilt it evenly.

guilt.

worry.

Worry im not loving either of them the right way.

worry that one or the other will feel neglected or left out.

worry that I cant handle that which the Lord has given me.

Worry that I am some how going to lead them in the wrong direction.

AHHH!!!!!

Satan is gonna be the death of me.

literally.

So I am deciding right here & right now to nip his sorry rear in the bud.

The Lord knows exactly what each of us mama’s can handle.

He would not have blessed me with these two precious gifts if he didn’t beleive I could do it…

and do a darn good job at that.

So take that.

This is a go me post.

Nope.

Def don’t have it together.

Def. let Lennon watch too much Buzz somedays.

Def. get anxious…nervous…worrisome…mad…angry…stressed….defeated most days.

but what mom doesn’t feel every single stinking one of these emotions.

I have decided to just put it right on out there that we all do.

whether we are going to admit it or not.

I am just choosing to admit it.

I would not for even one second…

think of doing anything else…

than raising and loving these two precious children with all of my heart.

Thank you Lord for entrusting them to me…

now PLEASE give me the strength- energy & wisdom to do it right.

luckily I have am pretty fantastic man right along side of me.

Props to all of you single parents our there.

You guys are my heros.

Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart.

So this is my…

brutally honest…

I don’t have it all…

or even most of it…

together post

Hope you find a deep breath in these words!

love to every momma out there.

and a big fat hug.

you’re doing great.

Schedules are good…

but it’s the little things…

The late bed time so you can stay up & watch Andy Griffith and eat trail mix with your 2 year old…

The dirty filthy hands because he played so hard there was no time for a bath…

Chocolate on the white duvet just because…

driving to the middle of nowhere & looking for animals & seeing his face light up.

the stubbed toes…scratches & scrapes from a day lived well.

hearing “thank you momma…so good” after you cook a meal.

the curtains that lay on the floor from an intense game of hide and seek

the first smile he gave to his big brother as they “talked”

the short blog…

because my boy wants to snuggle

Good Night!

Filed under: Uncategorized ]]> http://bekahrussom.com/2011/07/03/its-the-little-things/feed/ 0 lifethrulennonseyes images images-1 http://bekahrussom.com/2011/06/27/me-2-kids/ http://bekahrussom.com/2011/06/27/me-2-kids/#comments Tue, 28 Jun 2011 03:42:04 +0000 Bekaboo...a baby blog http://bekahrussom.com/?p=1592 ]]> Sweaty

dirty

stinky boys..

they fill every moment of each of my days.

feeding changing loving nurturing….

those are my past times as of late.

my days are busier than ever before..

sleep comes and goes..

right now it’s taking a vacation…

hopefully it will be back this week.

My boys are my world.

My husband…he’s my hero.

Lennon the spunkiest little thing you’ve ever met…

always looking for a smile or a laugh out of some unsuspecting soul.

Ellington Grey…he is such a sweet human being.

Full of smiles & it feels like he is out to make his momma’s life easier.

I am starting to get to know him more…his personality is like his daddy’s I have a feeling…

gentle

These two brothers are going to be a hoot to raise I am sure of it.

good night.

Maybe.

Just maybe.

I could possibly.

potentially.

be getting the hang of this two kiddo thing.

my heart has never ever been so full..

who knew changing 20 diapers a day could make a woman so happy.

I adore these boys the Lord has so graciously entrusted to Nolan & I.

They are the brightest little miracles.

Lennon is about to head to college it seems..

and Ellington isnt too far behind him

My boys.

and then my husband.

He is for an entirely different post.

AMAZING.

I am truly blessed.

G’nite!

Ellington Grey Russom.

Birthday March 3rd 2011.

TOTAL SURPRISE.

Monday February 28th I had my 35 week appointment.

my doctor checked me per my request because I had been having lots and lots of contractions.

I was 1 cm dilated and my cervix was very thin.

He said he thought it would be in the next few weeks.

I contracted all day Monday (chocked it up to my apt) and all day Tuesday and all day Wednesday.

Wednesday night Nolan & Lennon and I took a little drive to Murfreesboro (about an hour away) to pick up a computer, and then back home.

We got home about 9 O’clock and I tucked sweet little Lennon into bed & informed Nolan HOW UNCOMFORTABLE I was…whew.

I went upstairs took a shower and laid down in our bed…

after about 30 minutes I was so crazy miserable…

Nolan was working downstairs and I told him that I thought we needed to go into the hospital…

something was going on.

He ran to my parents house to pick up my sister to stay with Lennon & I hesitantly packed a very quick very small bag.

Nothing for the baby…

just a tooth brush and some makeup and jammies.

the drive to the hospital was ok…I was beginning to be in pain.

We got the Baptist and got checked in.

They put us in a room and got me all hooked up. My contractions were 1.5 – 2 minutes apart.

They checked me and I was still 1 cm dilated and now I was about 50% effaced.

To be honest I did not think I was in labor…I don’t know what made me go in…I mean minus the painful regular contractions…

but I really didnt think I was in labor for real.

I don’t think the nurse did either & Nolan really didn’t think i was.

The nurse told me that they could keep me for 2 hours,but if I hadn’t made any progress they were going to have to send me home.

Over the next 2 hours I experienced the WORST pain I have ever felt in my life.

Mind you i have had a baby before and I didn’t get my epi until 6 cm with him…

So I do know what pain is…however nothing could have prepared me for the pain of delivering Ellington.

I was on my hands and knees shaking and crying waiting for the nurse to come back in and check me…

finally she did and I was 5 cm dilated and 80% effaced.

ok.

this is where I burst into tears.

This is where it hit me…

the day that I just spent with my eldest son was my last day with him as an only child.

this is where it hit me that the piles and piled of baby clothes piled in our room were going to have to be sorted with a newborn lying next to me.

Where it hit me I would be bringing our newest baby home to a DIRTY house…

that I would need to stop at target to pick up diapers on our way home from the hospital.

where it all came crashing down that our son was coming & soon.

Where I started to think about the fact that he was 5 weeks early.

Where I let myself wander over to the possibility that he would need to be in the NICU.

Where I began to fervently pray that our sweet little boy could breathe on his own.

That moment scared me to death.

I got hooked up in my own room got my IV…and decided I couldnt do this pain any more and I needed an epi.

once I got my epidural I was able to rest a little…

my contractions slowed to about 5 minutes apart…

this was good cause my doctor wasnt on call for another couple of hours.

around 7 the next morning they came in and told me soon they would be giving me some pitocin to kick start my contractions again.

Once they did it was almost instant.

I went from 6-10 instantly.

My doctor came in and said he thought we had about 15-20 more minutes and we would start to push.

As he was walking out…I told him he needed to come back that I had to push that he was coming…

3 rounds of pushing and 5 minutes later sweet little Ellington Grey was born.

The NICU team was in our room becuase he was a preemie and they took him over to be assessed,

I was able to hold him for about 30 seconds and they told me that he was having trouble breathing and he needed to go to the NICU.

my stomach sank.

the next 3 days were spent in a hospital room without our little guy.

the days were spent with my heart being totally torn in two.

Wanting to stay up all night by Ellington’s side and wanting to snuggle with my oldest son so terribly bad.

Ellington needed what is called surfactant to coat his lungs…they gave him artificial surfactant and was able to come off the breathing tubes a few days later.

He was in the NICU a total of 6 days…the day we brought him home was the best day ever.

I had what was called a partial placenta abruption.

my placenta tore away from my uterus which caused me to begin to bleed internally and develop clots behind my placenta.

This is what sent me into labor a month before I was supposed to go into labor & why Ellington’s birth was so painful.

It wasn’t how I ever pictured his birth…

and seeing him hooked up to all the machines was the last way I wanted to see my baby for virtually the first time

but we are home.

The Lord healed him quickly and it is amazing to have all of my boys under one roof.

That is our Sweet little Ellington Grey’s story of how he came into the world

to let you all know…

our sweet new lil guy is here.

early,but safe & sound…

i’ll post my birth story later…

in the mean time…

here are some pics

I’ve missed blogging.

the days seems to fly by & at the end of the day I don’t want to open up my computer…

especially since Nolan has been SO busy with his new company…

I just wanna hang out with him.

thus the absence of blogs.

We had a delightful little weekend this past week.

Saturday we woke up & had french toast and hashbrowns…

skyped with my inlaws…

played around the house and finally got up and dressed and out the door.

We went to lunch with my family at this cute little italian place and then Lennon slept in the basket at target and Nolan and I enjoyed some lattes while we shopped.

He bought a cast iron griddle to leave on our stove that I LOVE.

I have used it everyday….so fun.

Saturday night our dear friends Kyle & Mandy ( She Breathes Deeply) came over for dessert & we just hung out and talked while our hubby’s worked on logos for Haywire Creative.

Sunday we stayed home and watched church there…

we then headed to the zoo with my family where we played and played and played to Lennon’s little self was worn out!

It was an awesome weekend….

we’re getting close now…

close to when Ellington is gonna greet us.

I am getting really excited.

my guess is 3-4 more weeks.

Before my mom and I have our babies we get to meet…

Lily Reid – who hopefulyl will be here any day.

Baby Wilson – who is due on saturday & better come tonight!!

Matilda Rubert – my little niece she’s got a couple more weeks!

then mom & I …

I am getting SO SO ready for these kiddos to grace us with their sweet little precense!

hah.

in other news.

Lennon has started this new thing where before he (deliberatley i might add) disobeys… he will look at Nolan or I and say…

“mama…hi ” then do soemthing he knows VERY well he isn’t supposed to do.

it’s kinda hard not to laguh cause he is so little …yet so sneaky.

gotta nip it in the bud!

I hope everyone has a FANTASTIC Tuesday!

Lennon and I had a date morning.

He had a  target gift card burning a hole in his pocket…

so we went to target

He picked out 2 bouncy balls

and 2 buzz sippy cups.

He is loving buzz these days…

we then made our way to the show department & he picked out his first pair of flip flops.

His darn feet are SO cute in them.

They are SO SO chunky .

oh my word.

I love it.

we then got a package of springtime Oreos & made our way to the park to meet my mom and Siah & Chloe.

it was a blast.

we played for a bit and then came home for lunch & naps.

Lennon is still napping.

i’ve gotten a ton done

No complaints here!

gah.

I don’t know why my pics do this sometimes…

but here is a picture of me that we found at my parents house a few days back.

Now we know why Lennon is oh so chunky.

He takes after his momma

BTW Update….

Big Boy Bed was the best decision we made for Lennon.

He sleeps like a champ.

doesn’t get out of bed ( I don’t think he knows he can)

and he sleeps SO SO SO SO well.

anyways.

Hope everyone is enjoying this wonderful spring weather!!

last week he officially purchased his LLC.

and the web space needed/URL names etc…

The Lord is really blessing his company.

It is so neat.

Business has been very steady which is incredible.

I couldn’t be more proud of how he has taken the bull by the horns & done everything right.

It totally is weird hearing him say that he is self employed to people….

http://www.haywirecreative.com

His site is under construction right now, but he is working on getting it up soon!

Sorry…just had to brag

we had quite a dull weekend…

Sunday was the best day by far…

Nolan was stuck in bed sick all weekend which left me and Lennon to be….

well then Lennon got sick & I nearly had a meltdown.

I am SO TIRED of sickness.

We have been down for a month.

stupid flu.

wears this momma out.

I don’t know how my mom does it.

Now my dad is sick too

ugh.

Sunday however I brought Lennon to Nana & Papa’s & picked up 2 friends of mine & went to Mandy’s (SheBreathesDeeply) baby shower!

It was fun & so relaxing to be able to sit for a few hours and not tend to someone

well anyways…on our drive to the shower I was talking to my friend bonnie about really needing to get Lennon sleeping through the night by the time Ellington gets here.

Having a newborn is tiring enough….I don’t need two kiddos waking around the clock.

Lennon has conditioned himself to “NEEDING” to sleep with his mama.

which doesn’t fly with his daddy.

or me honestly…

I don’t sleep well at all.

He starts off in his crib and then a few hours into the night is so hysterical that I give in and bring him in our room….

this weekend after he had done this…and was sound asleep on my chest snoring…. I took him into his room…as soon as I went to lay him down he shot his head up and screamed “mama NO!” pointing to our bed…I guess it really hit me then….we are the ones that have gotten him to this point & we need to help him out of it.

So back to my friend Bonnie (who was so sweet and text me last night saying “pregnancy treat on your porch” and had brought me goodies!)

She said when her little boy was around lennon’s age he just wasn’t sleeping well in his crib…she said she really thought he was too big for it…

I then started thinking about Lennon & what a wacky sleeper he is…

everynight at least twice we are going in there cause he has nailed something on the crib slats and woken himself up….

So I came home and talked to Nolan about moving Lennon into a big boy bed.

We hadn’t wanted to do it until he was 2 and then we would move Lennon out and Ellington into the crib, but my need for him to sleep through the night kind of won over…

Nolan was totally on board & we went to the store yesterday and bought him brand new big boy sheets and a bed rail for the Full bed that was already in his room.

We talked to him all day while I was making his bed and putting the rail together about how he no longer was going to have to sleep in his crib & that he was a big boy and got to sleep in his bed like mommy & Daddy sleep in their bed.

Well I don’t know if last night was a fluke or what…

but he laid down like a champ!

He cried for a minute or two and was asleep…

Lennon slept ALL night long…not waking up one time….now granted I woke up 5 separate times  to check on him because I was so nervous about it all…but he did amazing.

This morning at 730 he woke up calling for me & that was that.

We are at my parents house now so we couldnt do nap time in a big boy bed….. but that’s my next step.

Praying for a night like last night tonight!

Sorry for the long post…just wanted to share the big news!

GO LENNON!

our weekend turned out to be NOT so relaxing…

Thursday night Nolan came down with something and by Friday morning he was in bed miserable…

he slept most of the day and by Friday night Lennon had a 101 degree fever.

ugh.

I AM SO TIRED OF MY FAMILY BEING SICK!.

Saturday morning Nolan was NO better…

I begged and begged him to go to the doctor…

he finally gave in and we went to the walk in clinic.

after about an 1 1/2 wait we finally got called back .

Nolan didn’t have the flu or strep but had a ton of fluid filling up his ears…

the starting of a sinus infection

Lennon looked so horrible the doc asked if he could listen to his breathing…

he did & was a tad bit alarmed..

he went and got the pediatric O2 reader and lennon’s oxygen wasn’t great…

they sent him down for a chest Xray and it looks like the cough & congestions he has had since he got over the flu caused the tubes in his lungs to swell….

not to mention he was like his daddy with a head FULL of fluid.

eyes with goopy boogers all in them.

oh yeah and his first ear infection since his tubes at 10 months old….

SO…after 3 long hours at the Doc…

we left with Decongestant & nose spray for Nolan…and a script for antibiotics if his infection didnt get better…

and

Prednisone & an antibiotic for Lennon….

have I mentions that insurance sucks?

we went to pick up Nolan’s meds cause they had messed Lennon’s up & AFTER insurance it was going to be 150 bucks!

we asked what was so much and they said our insurance only covered 20 bucks.

So I asked if there was something that Nolan could take that was over the counter that wasnt 100 dollars and he said the zyrtecD was the exact same thing and it cost us a whopping 15 bucks!

that was nice…

all in all we dod spend well over 100 dollars and different drugs for both of my boys today.

I am so ready for spring.

no more sickness.

I did end the evening having pudding with my parents which was really nice and quite and relaxing…

Lennon is now in bed and I am finally laying down after a busy day.

phew.

Either I am a total wimp or my mom has super human powers to be 8 months pregnant and do all she does in a day.

that’s all I gotta say.

GOOD NIGHT!